1.2 Scriptwriting

1.2 Scriptwriting

Task 1

On their annual summer holiday, Alex and his father rented out two inflatable stand up paddle boards and a teacher to assist them in their adventure onto the open ocean. As they made their way down the long, outstretched beach, they see many sights of amazement and bewilderment. 

As they reach the cold and merciless Atlantic ocean, they suit up to protect themselves from getting hypothermia by putting on wetsuits. They walk into the ocean with no expectations of what could happen. Once the ocean had reached their knees, they placed down the boards and paddled out of the rough surf to calmer waters. Their teacher explained that to go in a straight line they had to switch sides every paddle they took.

Alex was the first one to be brave enough to stand up and paddle, which he successfully did without any prior experience with a board. His father, who had been surfing for most of his life, was next up and managed to stand up for about 10 seconds before falling back down. Alex was clearly superior when it came to standing still. Once they both got acclimated to the controls of moving they set off with a cheery wave back to shore.

The three moved as one unit around the rocky out crop of the headlands exploring many caves and experiencing the clear still water of the open Atlantic ocean. Alex exclaimed that he "didn't want to go any further, because i'm getting tired from all the rowing", this was an excuse, in reality he was getting anxiety from being so close to an empty abyss that was the ocean. Both the teacher and his father agreed to turn back as their lesson was almost over.

They started to head back, without knowing what was silently stalking them. As the wind picked up, Alex started to stumble and lose his balance while paddling making him fall into the ocean. He swam up to let the other two know that he was alright when he felt a tug at his foot and turned, looked down and saw a large black fish biting at his wetsuit shoe. Alex shouted that "there's this big fish holding onto my shoe" and went to lift his leg up to get a better view of the fish but it swam away when he started to move it. 

Startled from the experience, Alex got back on his board and paddled as fast as he could back to shore and the safety of land.

No one ever really knew what kind of fish it was or why it did it.


Task 2

What is the perspective it is written in? Third.

Is it written in past or present tense? Present.

How much of the script is spent describing what is going on? 75 - 90%.

How clear is the script in visualising characters and locations? Very clear and visualising characters, not so clear on wide scale location.


Task 3

Economical and direct as possible.
Int. / Ext. = transition from indoors to outdoors or vice versa.
Action lines should only be visual details, things that you as the viewer can see.
Characters names should be in ALL CAPS when first introduced then its just preference.

                                 CHARACTER (Char. Parentheticals)
(Dialogue Parentheticals)
       Dialogue Dialogue Dialogue Dialogue Dialogue Dialogue 
TRANSITION:

Character Parentheticals:
Voice Over = V.O.
Off Screen = O.S.
(INTO PHONE)

Dialogue Parentheticals: (not used often unless indicating language)
(angrily)
(calmly)
(overwhelmed)
(consoling)
(gently)
(in Spanish)

Transitions: (used to emphasise)
CUT TO:
SMASH CUT TO: (really emphasised cut)
FADE TO BLACK:
INTERCUT WITH:


Task 4








Task 5 
Updated spelling errors, e.g. rentle - rental.
grammar checked it.


Task 6
Made sure I did not over use parentheticals.
Changed slug lines to be more specific. 

 Task 7
Gave names to characters that were previously un-named.
Added more action lines.












Task 9


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